Ways to Deal With a Bossy Co-Worker on Your Team -The Muse

Ways to Deal With a Bossy Co-Worker on Your Team -The MuseWays to Deal With a Bossy Co-Worker on Your Team Youve got a co-worker who, to put it diplomatically, has a hard time keeping their leadership tendencies in check. To tell it like it is He treats you like hes the anfhrer. He provides tons of constructive feedback (even when you didnt ask for it), divides up roles on gruppe projects (giving himself the best one), and quashes any opportunity for otherbeis to have a say.This can go from an annoyance to a prevalent problem when your boss doesnt step in. Maybe shes too busy to stay apprised of team dynamics, maybe the department is understaffed and shes happy for someone to step up and take on a larger role, or maybe shes hearing how things are going directly from him- and has no idea hes steamrolling people left and right. While its super-frustrating to deal with a bossy co-worker day in and day out, there are steps you can take to address the situation. Start with these four tact ics1. Speak Up in the MomentYour colleague has just taken charge and relegated you to a boring task again, and youre really upset about it. But, would she (apart from the ability to mind read) know that?Not everyone who takes charge does it maliciously. If the team okays her ideas- or doesnt say anything at all- hows she to know that people are actually seething?So, step one is speaking up. She may not realize how aggressive Heres what were going to do sounds.Practice saying things like, I have an idea for a different approach... and Id like to take a more active role in the direction of this project. How about if Maybe shell do a decent job at sharing leadership roles, its just that no one had previously expressed interest. Your first step is to give her a chance to do just that.2. Schedule a ChatMaybe you skimmed over the raise your voice advice thinking, Been there. Tried that. Or, youre reading this after youve been blindsided by your colleague popping by your desk or replying a ll with (negative) feedback on how you draft emails. So, offering your thoughts in the moment isnt the right option for you.In this case, youre going to want to schedule a talk with him. As you know, emails can be misconstrued- especially when theyre on delicate topics- so this is definitely worth saying in person.Avoid you statements (You were wrong because) as itll likely just make him defensive. Instead try something like, I appreciate you taking the time to you share your best practices with me. However, Ive found success with whatever it may be. If I hit a roadblock, Ill be sure to reach out to the team for suggestions.You opened with a dash of kill them with kindness and then clarified two key things that youll drive the discussion if youre seeking feedback, and that hes an equal member of your team (that consists of others with valuable ideas, too).3. Nominate Co-workersNot everyones comfortable making the jump from saying nothing to advocating for themselves. An intermediate step is elevating someone else on your team- which is an equally effective tactic to make sure decisions are distributed more fairly.Try using the tactic women used in President Obamas White House to combat gender bias in meetings. If your bossy co-worker shouts down an idea from someone else, raise your voice in support of it- and call out the original speaker. This will make it clear that there are multiple voices around the table worth listening to.4. Go to Your BossRemember when I said theres a good chance your managers unaware of the problem? If youve tried doing all of the above and none of it has worked, its time to go to your boss. (The other benefit of making this step four is that youll be able to tell your manager that, yes, you have spoken to the person in question and tried to solve the problem before bringing it to her.)The best way to broach the topic is not to throw your colleague under the bus, which could make you sound like youre coming from a place of competitio n or jealousy. (Think Greg acts like hes more senior than us.)Instead, talk to your supervisor about your opportunities for growth and professional development- which is totally par for the course. You could say, Id like to take the lead on more projects What steps could I take? That way, your boss knows your co-worker isnt the only person interested in these opportunities. Another approach would be to say, Id like to make more substantive contributions, but I often feel there isnt space for my opinion in meetings. Do you have any suggestions for how I might take a more active role? This should open the door to discussing why you feel that way, and how you can remedy it.Either way, youve alerted your boss to the fact that the current team dynamics keeping you from being impactful. And at this point, youll at least know youve tried your best to remedy the problem. If youve spoken to your difficult teammate (twice), elevated your other co-workers, and asked your boss for a larger role and nothings changed, then- if were being honest- the team dynamic is likely to stay as-is. Assuming youre not looking to quit, rather than fighting an uphill battle, find other ways to get your voice heard in the office. Spearhead more solo projects, collaborate with people in different departments, or get involved with groups not related directly to your job, such as a book club. By choosing to create opportunities for yourself, youre showing your boss- as well as other people in leadership positions- that your voice deserves to be heard, and by not letting that happen, theyre missing out on a lot of great ideas.